people watching during the first few weeks of college is a blast. girls are all dressed up rushing sororities. athletes are making their way to tryouts. students are auditioning for dance companies, musicals and plays. i was running around, too, trying to decide upon which of the million clubs to join and which groups to audition for. some were ‘all are welcome’ type clubs (like the LGBT+ group i joined). others had a more formal audition process (like the magazine and dance company i was fortunate enough to be given a place in). this made me think of all of the groups, clubs, and teams i have ever tried to join. knees weak, arms heavy, vomit on my sweater already… moms spaghetti (thanks eminem). the moments before you hear a decision are some of the most agonizing. what ive learned from all of this is that, whatever the decision, it will all be alright. the cliched “when one door closes, another opens” has consistently been reinforced in my life and has made putting myself out there so much easier.
everyone wants a spot in the sorority of their dreams, the best position on a team, or the lead part in a play. but there isnt room for everyone. someone will have to get the “im sorry, maybe next time” email & we are all just praying it isnt us. but its going to be us at one point or another. it doesn’t have to be devastating tho! you just need to be willing to change course and adapt. (the more you have to do it, the better you get at adjusting. as a dancer, i faced rejection on a regular basis. trust me, it gets easier).
i always think of how umich made me sweat it out. i was deferred, waitlisted, and finally admitted on the last possible day of admission. during this agonizing process, i went through so many emotions. i had to adjust and make other plans. eventually i convinced myself i was ok with whatever happened. in hindsight, that time was a gift. i wouldn’t have traveled to georgia, chicago, new york and europe if i had found out earlier. although i am so grateful that umich took a chance on me, i know that if the decision had not been in my favor i would have been just fine. you will be too.