my new years resolution was to fill in every page of a journal. finally, i did. but as i read through my entries from january until now, my initial excitement quickly shifted into disappointment. personal pronouns are written less frequently than the names of boys who were/are relevant in my life.
my journal is more for the guys in my life than for myself. & i know, for a fact, that there was other relevant stuff going on in my life from january to now, besides who i was dating. (quarantine????? not even mentioned. *facepalm*).
so, although my journal looks like something written by a 13 year old who just met the “cutest boy ever,” at least i can notice exactly how out of wack my priorities are. apparently, dating is EVERYTHING. & zooming out, i can totally understand why i think that.
i mean, look at pop culture. the most popular tv shows exist soley because, as a society, we are obsessed with dating (think: the bachelor, love is blind, sex and the city, etc.). love songs are a full genre & what is a rap song without a verse about sex?
frankly, i think i need a refresh. time for myself. time to re-prioritize. time to make my journal about me. in fear of existing solely to be someone’s girlfriend, i am taking time to be alone. & as someone who hasn’t been single for more than a couple months at a time since middle school, i can see this being tricky. but hey, what’s life without a few challenges?
to my new journal: this time you will be about ME.
