I ran into one of my work friends on the way home today. She told me that she has been feeling overwhelmed with work and everything else going on in her life. She said that she doesn’t know if work is serving her & feels like she is missing out on friends and other activities. I feel that.
This past week I have been doing school or work from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. I am miserable. & I am doing it to myself.
I tell myself I need to work 5 days a week on top of dancing 9 hours and taking 5 classes. I tell myself that it’s fine that I don’t have a social life and can’t make time to get coffee with a friend because I need the money. I need it to travel, to pay for college, to have a savings for when I graduate. But how much of what I tell myself is true? Or at least healthy?
I’m a senior, and this year I have hung out with friends three times, been to zero football games, and spend most of my time alone in my apartment doing things I need to do, not things I want to. I have 7 more months where I don’t really need to adult, and I am not taking advantage of those. I feel like I need to be grown now. That I need to have a job lined up for after college. That I need to work so hard now to prepare for my future. Ignoring the fact that I won’t be able to come back to college. To living in a city surrounded by 20 somethings. To being a student at a school with a D1 sports program. To being young.
I’ve always felt this pressure to grow up way faster than I actually need to, & this year I am going to try to reverse that. Embrace my youth while I still can.
