ever since i was in kindergarten, i’ve been involved in music. throughout my childhoodi enjoyed playing the violin. the sole pressure was to make sure i was at the orchestra on time. i wasn’t too concerned with my skills or how much i was practicing every day. but once i entered high school, my mindset took a turn for the worse.
i began to constantly compare myself to others. instead of letting these thoughts motivate me to become a better musician, i let them control me. i started to see everything from singing with ensemble mates to my music theory class as a competition where i always had to be on top.
by the end of high school, my confidence was drained. i never thought i was good enough. whenever i had to audition for choir ensembles or college programs, i went in telling myself i wouldn’t make it. my passion for music slowly but surely became an unhealthy obsession.
but thankfully, things have been getting a lot better. i no longer see everything as a competition, but, rather, as an opportunity to grow as a musician.
one thing that has helped me is acknowledging my current talents and skills instead of always thinking about what i could learn/improve. by focusing on my strengths, i gained the confidence to work on my weaknesses.
so for those aspiring musicians out there: you are enough. everyone learns and advances at their own pace. & i cannot stress enough that it is not a race. once i acknowledged this, i was able to once again have a healthy relationship with music.
