self care isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. there. i said it.
after struggling with an eating disorder, i looked to other social media bloggers for comfort in similar stories and to learn about their journeys. i wanted to know how they did it, & if it ever actually gets better. through others, i learned the basics of self care, intuitive eating and all of those other buzzwords. i began teaching myself that it’s okay not to look perfect and to take it easy on myself. & that’s exactly when it got toxic.
as a natural born rule follower, i did just as everyone else. i thought that treating myself to dessert and not working out often would make me feel better, but in reality, it made me feel worse. i saw all of the fitness influencers chowing down on brownies, as long as they were raw, or gluten free or vegan or low sugar or whatever tf else. but i’m here to say that it doesn’t make you feel better, but dare i say it, worse. at least it did for me.
working out once a week and eating whatever i craved, which, late at night especially, isn’t all that nutritious, made me feel like crap. i gained 10lbs, which made me dislike the look of my body, and i lost all motivation. doing simple things became more of a chore & even my mental state became worse. sure, my eating disorder wasn’t nagging me as much, but this “self care” thing created new issues.
a week or two ago, i finally realized it. i became lazy & used self care as an excuse to let it slide. sure, i was still working two jobs and studying, but my spark for adventure, new projects, and taking care of my health became dull. so i signed up for the gym, got my butt to the grocery store, put on some beyonce & got shiz done. & DANG does it feel good.
i guess what i’m saying isn’t that the entirety of self care is bad, but if you use it as an excuse to be lazy and stop taking care of yourself, it will have the opposite effect. in my opinion, nothing feels better than productivity. no, not overworking yourself, but not doing nothing either. balance. as my mom always says, “everything in moderation.”
so sure, you can have your cake and eat it too, but try not to make it a daily thing.
