i am. part of the problem
(sex part III)
this week i attended MSU’s orientation. tons of information was thrown at me. the only thing missing was a real discussion about the social aspect of college (i.e., partying and hookups). from what i can tell, this new found freedom brings some pretty significant change (not all good). case in point: once upon a time (high school), i met a guy. we had that kind of relationship that you see in the movies. coffee dates? weekly. fort building & movie watching? you bet. deep talks for hours on end? naturally. months later, we broke up. immediately after the breakup, we didn’t talk much, but over time we became friends. everything seemed the same at first, but the once coffee-loving, deep thinker i had known was now focused on hooking up (at least thats how it seemed to me). it seems as if college students, especially over-served freshmen guys, become keen on the idea of one night stands, & it doesn’t matter who it’s with (ever hear of beer goggles?) but ladies, we cant put all of the blame on guys. i mean, guys are having sex with consenting females, after all.
but this hookup culture doesn’t seem to be as fulfilling as it appears on the surface & females need to see the role they play. personally, i would consider myself a feminist (what girl doesn’t want equal rights?). i mean if guys can have meaningless sex, why cant we? it seems every girl is doing it and is perfectly happy, but is she? many having sex “like a guy” still wonder “is he seeing other girls?” and “why is he giving me mixed signals?” it doesn’t make sense! i mean if we’re doing it to exercise our right for equality, but it’s leaving us anxious and self-conscious, what’s the point? isn’t feminism about empowering women, not making them insecure? & don’t we want equality in our right to decide what’s best for us? i mean, we are built differently. (though, hookup culture isn’t that great for many guys either & is pressuring the ones who want more to brag about bodycount). from what i can tell, this whole culture of the “hookup” seems to be counterproductive and leaves me wondering, if no one can win this game, why do we keep playing?
