“i know you’ll be a star in somebody else’s sky. but why, why, why can’t it be, can’t it be mine?” -pearl jam
ever been completely head over heels for someone, yet know that they aren’t worth your time? i have. consistently left on read for hours, responding back the second he snapped me. believing him every time he told me we would get together. going to his games, only to be blown off after. it was a vicious cycle of getting my hopes up, only to be let down over and over again. i kept thinking that maybe this time he will want me. maybe this time we will get together. maybe once he hangs out with me he will see how much i should be in his life. but that right there, the hope that he will see that i am good enough, is exactly the problem.
i am good enough. i can’t blame him for not feeling the way i did (i mean, who we are drawn to is really out of our control). i also can’t be mad at him because i made it out to be more than it was. i could blame him for not being honest with his feelings, but where would that have gotten me? i needed to realize that it wasn’t going anywhere and that what i was doing was unhealthy.
i think we know when someone isnt good for us. and when that happens, we need to try and remove them from our lives (i’m aware that this is HARD). slowly erase him from your life by unfollowing him on insta, remove him from snap, or just tell him that you need him to stop contacting you. you need to replace thoughts of him with new ones, so that you can move on. you deserve it.
note: i realize that the shoe has also been on the other foot. and, while i try to be as honest with guys as i can, i know that sometimes my actions are confusing. to anyone i have ever unintentionally misled, i am sorry. navigating feelings is complex and it isn’t always clear how we feel. that’s why we need to forgive. forgiving makes it easier to move on. at the very least, we can take comfort in knowing that we’re not alone. we just need to turn to posty, chris martin, amy winehouse or any other artist that has ever written a ballad about unrequited love (there are sooo many).
