i have set a million goals in my life. get a 5 on the AP calc test, make it in the top 3 at a national dance competition, get that boy to like me. & more generally, “get a job i love and make enough money to help support my family.” we all have at least one goal in life that we want to achieve.
the problem with goals, though, is that they are finite. i mean, what happens when you achieve it? it can no longer bring you happiness, that trophy has already been won. i remember desperately wanting to graduate with a 4.0+ gpa and have a neck full of honors. i worked really hard and gave up a lot to make it happen. yet, i was confident that the end result would make it all worth while. so what happened when i reached my goal? surprisingly, it became like any other achievement. it brought me momentary happiness, but i realize now that the joy i got from working toward it was more rewarding than actually achieving the goal (yes, even with the frustration, set-backs, and hard work). this was what mark manson talks about in ‘the subltle art of not giving a f***’ when he said we need to have goals that dont have a final destination. wanting to “wish the best for everyone i meet,” or striving to “find something positive in every day” are never ending and can bring continuous happiness. real happiness comes when we appreciate the process and focus less on achieving the goal.
this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have a direction or something to work toward. but, it won’t be the achievement of that goal that brings you real happiness. lasting happiness comes from the process. from continually striving.
