it has officially hit me, my friends. that gloomy fall feeling that i can never seem to shake. as i trudged through the rain on my walk to central campus the other day, i couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. & i tried SO HARD to figure out why. i got myself a vanilla coconut milk latte (i hadn’t had coffee in 2 days. i know, i’m impressed with myself, too), but that wasn’t it. i listened to louis the child’s new ep, that didn’t really help either (even though its fire. highly recommend). i looked at the funny captions on stranger things insta, and a video of post malone dancing, from when he was 15, that my best friend sent me. but a good meme can only take you so far. i thought about actually putting myself together for class, but like, that just didn’t sound like a move.
i miss being able to see my brothers every day. i miss listening to my mom bellyache about unkind and closed-minded people. i miss my friends (even tho i go to school with most of them). i miss being able to feel the sun hit my exposed shoulders. i want to be surrounded by comfort and love.
this is not to say that i don’t absolutely love college and everything that i have done here. like, i would never trade in this experience for anything. so, i think the lame conclusion that i’m getting at is that life isn’t always going to be picture perfect. it is going to be extremely boring sometimes. you’re going to have to learn about differential equations and apa style. & although some good food and wholesome memes can help along the way, you just gotta embrace the sucky moments. like, how are you expected to appreciate the good times if you have never felt like life is, well, less than? so here i am. uninspired. feeling like i am missing something. yet im going to try to love every second of it. because it simply just be like that sometimes.
